Relationship Vacation

Have you ever had a relationship with either an old friend or family member that you just need a vacation from? You still love or care about the person but each person just needs a break.

My brother and I took a vacation from each other for about 6 years. There was no big blowout fight to tell about or no long talk. We just needed a break from each other to transition into new roles in our adult life. My brother and I were latchkey kids and he often credits me for raising him. We ended up as roommates when we were young adults for about 4 years. Ever try living with family for a long period of time? Your business becomes their business. There is a very murky line between personal privacy and family. When the time came for me to move, the rental house was in my name, I am sure he wasn't too thrilled with me since he had to move too. Needless to say, that began our vacation from each other. We both went on with our lives without each other part of it. I can't speak for my brother, but for me there was a lingering sadness but I was okay with it too. I knew we needed the break. Two years ago our vacation came to an end. Once again, no long talk or dramatic family situation. It merely ended one evening at a pizza parlor to gather for a visit from our dad. From then on we have slowly become part of each others lives again. It's different this time. We have both stood on our own two feet as adults without relying on each other. Our relationship is based more on an adult friendship rather than relying on the old brother & sister roles we had as kids.

Just because someone is family or an old friend doesn't mean that a relationship can't be redefined on new terms and appreciation over time. Sometimes a little space does everyone a world of good. If the relationship is meant to be, a new common ground will be established. Everyone just needs to know that it is okay and not always a negative thing to take a relationship vacation.

The reason I bring this up today? I just spent the morning with my kids, Princess & Pirate and their Uncle A. We had a great time. I am so happy that Uncle A and I felt okay enough to take our vacation from each other for those 6 years. It made a world of difference.