Mom, your shorts are too small for you!

Today was very hot and sultry in Santa Rosa. Reminded me of my summers in New York as a kid. Even though the sky was overcast, the temp was bursting at about 98 degrees. It was just too icky and sticky for me.

I have not treated myself to any new clothes this past summer for many reasons. Top five reasons.... 1) I refuse to buy more clothes until I lose weight 2) I hate clothes shopping for myself 3) no job, no money 4) always end up in the kid's dept. buying Pirate or Princess something super cute 5) I refuse to buy more clothes until I lose weight. Oh, have I already listed that? I own two pairs of shorts that reach down to the knee and I have two pairs of shorts that are thigh-high. I rotate the knee-length shorts whenever possible, pair them with a few layered tank tops and a pair of flip flops and I have my summer uniform. Once, in a blue moon, I resort to wearing the thigh-high shorts. I have the world's worst farmer's tan this summer as a result of my official summer uniform mentioned above. When I wear the thigh-high shorts, not only am I uncomfortable because they don't reach to my knees but they are also baring my hideous two-toned legs. Tan below the knee and white from the kneecap up. It's not a pretty sight, especially when you add in the varicose veins I got stuck with after my pregnancies.

So to get back to the sultry weather... I got out of the shower and began immediately sweating again. I went to the closet to coordinate my summer uniform for the day. Yikes! My two knee-lenght shorts were in the laundry. If the weather was cooler, I would have reached for my velour sweats or yoga pants to pair with my tank tops and flip flops yet it was just too damn hot to wear pants so I had to wear a thigh-high pair of shorts. I picked an extra special tank top to make it a bit prettier on top. I applied a little extra makeup and spent a few more minutes on my hair. Oh, also picked out a cute pair of earrings to finish the outfit off. I did everything to try to balance the uncomfortable feeling I had going on. I think I looked pretty cute when I was all said and done.

I went downstairs and within minutes Princess announces in front of everyone: Husband, Pirate and the two crazy cats that she thinks my shorts are too small for me. Great!! My soon-to-be four year old has said it like it is. There is no escaping the reality of it. My shorts are too small and look hideous. Even a 4 year old notices. So I end up at Kohl's department store within 30 minutes of the Princess' declaration searching through their summer clearance rack for anything that was cheap and fit to the standards of my 4 year old. Of course, I brought her along as my guide to what was to small and not. I ended up with one pair of shorts or should we call them knickers. Knee-length of course. They are white so they will fit into my rotation of tank tops perfectly and they were only $12. I still refuse to buy anymore. I will lose the weight but I will never wear the thigh-shorts again. The thrift store down the road has two cute pairs if you are looking for some.